What Would Dalton Do?

We here at RA have our sources. What top notch journalistic blog worth its salt doesn’t? And luckily one of our contacts is in the highest reaches of Queens Park, and from time to time decides to toss us tidbits of verboten information; if for nothing else to see if we salivate like Pavlovian dogs at a Westminster bell concert.

 And so, we now have in our grimy, sweat stained, hairy-palmed hands the list of 2012 Policy Initiatives that Dalton McGuinty plans to bring to the masses as part of his new effort to reassure Ontarians that Premier Dad is looking out for them and their families.

First on the agenda; The TAPS Law (Take A Piss while Sitting). Yes, taking a leak while standing on your two feet is soon to be outlawed boys. In an effort to increase understanding between the genders and public hygiene, the McGuinty government will be moving to mandate that all males, regardless of age, will be required to sit while urinating. This initiative will help educate and sensitize men to the life challenges and dilemmas that women experience on a daily basis having to pee while sitting, including the terrible struggle with seats left up in the loo.

As well, sitting down will improve general hygiene by eliminating unwanted splash and mitigating against the terrible bad aim of certain obese and/or elderly members of the male gender that can, at its worst, create slips and falls in the bathroom which in turn needlessly burdens our glorious public health care system with totally preventable accidents.

Yes, it’s only the first of a long list of initiatives, but we can see that this initiative has Winner written all over it. Already, the NDP is lining up to support this bill, so its passage is guaranteed.


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