Riots ‘r Us

We have little interest in exploring the ‘why’ a few dozen students, with another thousand or so watching, decided to riot in London, Ontario this past weekend.  As the one line of thinking goes, if you are able to explain a bad behaviour, then you are by extension obliged to forgive it.

So, ignoring the possible explanations for why a bunch of idiot college students would think it appropriate to riot during St. Patrick’s Day, or why other morally vacant students would consider this spectacle and rip roaring entertainment, we will choose instead to build on our philosophical discourse last week with our citation of the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics, or the Law of Entropy that states essentially;

“All things seek their lowest energy state”

It’s an important insight to not just science, but to broader society as well, because the Law is applicable to what we see around us day to day.  Consider that anarchy, chaos and disorder represent the lowest energy state of a society, Stage I of spiritual development if you agree with M. Scott Peck’s hypothesis.  Then on a grander scale what we are engaged in is a daily struggle against the universe, the tendency of all things towards entropy.  It is a lot of work.  Stasis, or standing still, is not an option; visualize standing still on a slippery muddy slope… eventually you start falling backwards.

So that being said, it is work, to keep a society together, a constant struggle.  In that context then we have our riots in London, Vancouver, Toronto where have you… so considering the fight against entropy, we’d argue not so much that the riots must stop, but that they must be stopped.  There is a difference.  Simply, asking, pleading that the rioters stop is passive, whereby actively stopping the goons would be aggressive and pro-active, a truly anti-entropy endeavor.

Forget the root causes, forget trying to understand why young hooligans would get drunk and destroy property for no good reason.  This behaviour must be stopped.  Actively, aggressively and preferably at the moment it is happening.

So into this abyss come our fearless London police, who after sensing the crowd was getting out of hand, withdrew, then returned in force to be pelted with beer bottles and rocks and pieces of wooden fence.  And then they pulled a Caledonia, preferring to videotape and take pictures of offenders, documenting the crime in progress with the hopes of identifying them afterwards, while praying for some worthwhile help from social media.

Huh.  How’s that working for you in Vancouver?

Shame.  Where were the rubber bullets?  Do they even have such things, or is that some kind of fairy tale fantasy for law and order types?

Nope, instead now we are reliant on identification of the culprits subsequent to the crime having been committed, anarchy being tasted, the lowest energy state of our society being flirted with.  And quite frankly we aren’t holding our breath for the successful capture of all the idiots that should be publicly caned.

But, for the future, if that’s the way our police want to do things, we here at RA, in our entrepreneurial zeal will be heading off to our world-class product development lab to work on some or all of the following riot-management and post-riot identification devices;

  • Water cannons that spray dye, so that all rioters are easily identifiable post-riot;
  • Grenades that explode with dye;
  • Helicopters dusting the crowd with something like colloidal silver that after inhalation turns the skin blue;
  • Massive time-out chairs for the big babies to sit in, but the chairs are so super cushy that the drunks fall asleep instantly;
  • Flyers to drop over the crowd during the riot that read, “You are special and you are unique snowflakes”, for the generation raised on self-esteem boosting at all costs.  But the twist is the flyers have ink that never comes off their fingers;
  • Other ideas

All told, we think even these few ideas as starting points will help us get our rioter-management and rioter-identification business off and running with great success.  Because, one thing we can guarantee is that given our lack of interest as a society in actively resisting entropy, we can comfortably predict more and more of these riots in the next couple of years. And again, we don’t care why; we only know that there could be lots of money to be made.

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One thought on “Riots ‘r Us

  1. windsor baba says:

    Well said. And hilarious to boot.


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