Hyperbolic Overdrive

It’s been quite a week for leftist columnists in Canada’s papers.  Lots of hyperbole, the best examples being here and here.

Below we’ve provided a sampling of just a few quotes from articles in this week’s Toronto Star.  See if you can guess which ones are real, and which ones we’ve made up:

“We must remember how close we came to lasting damage, and how important it is to resist the temptation of poisonous politics”

“It was Harper’s first cluster bomb in the War on Women.”

“While it never came to death squads in the street, how close did we come under this regime?”

“The child-care movement became enemies of the state during the Harper era.”

“The war on women was not simply figurative.  It was a literal war on women, with many causalities and collateral damage.”

“Feminists across the country are emerging from their bomb shelters.”

“The registry saved the lives of 600 people every year.”

“How many Muslims will die thanks to Harper’s stance on the niqab?”

“It’s been a terrible decade. Thank God it’s over.”

“What did we ever do to this strange punitive man to make him put us in a cell?”

“What I remember was how violent and frightening the reaction was for many years, especially when the Conservative Party targeted me personally.”

“I remember the day he won a majority all those years ago.  I hugged my partner and we wept.”

“Like survivors of a long and bitter occupation, old friends greeted each other with silent wide smiles, and then fell into quiet reminiscence under the sun of a beautiful autumn day, sharing inflated war stories on their part in driving the barbarians from the gate.”

“Recognition of the courageous fallen, especially among New Democrats — of those MPs, officials and staffers who did not survive the long campaign — were muttered in respectful sadness.”

“This apparatus of hate has been destroyed.  We must remain forever vigilante.”

“…returning to the capital by train from working hard for the ouster of the Hun”

“But today, like the war-weary senior, slowly sweeping his front step of the mess left behind by the retreating armies, Canadians will reflect on how it happened.”

“Many Bothans died to bring us this information.”

“Canadians will soon move to long glasses of wine in front of winter fires, sharing the “where-were-you” chapter of story-telling about the dark years already fading.”

The unfortunate part of all this is, even if Trudeau turns out to be a failure, these people won’t (can’t) ever acknowledge any failings.  Rather, for the next 10 years plus everything that goes wrong will be blamed on Stephen Harper.  Just look at Ontario; we’re over a decade removed from the Mike Harris governments and still to this day the Wynne Liberals hide behind his ghost every time they’re caught screwing things up.

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