I like ‘Chyyyaniwynklc’ as the new name for British Columbia. Let’s go with it.
Supposedly it means “sea to sky” in Salish and is one of the serious suggestions in a new initiative to rename the province of British Columbia Chyyyaniwynklc. I think it also means “pancake breakfast” in Congolese and means “more boobie please” in baby-talk, but that’s just surplus benefits to the requirement to find a name for the province that doesn’t reflect our evil colonialist history.
It’s like waves off the ocean; they keep coming and coming, eroding the shoreline over time. Except it seems like there’s a storm offshore that never seems to lose energy and give us some pause, rather the waves in recent years are relentless and huge and the erosion is rapid. Social progress some might say.
The problem as I’ve written before is that it’s never enough. The goal line is always moving on us. One might say, OK, I we’ll give you changing ‘All our son’s command’ in the national anthem to ‘All of us command’, because sure, we don’t want to be “exclusive” of the contributions of our daughters to the fabric of our great country. What’s the big deal? We’ll demonstrate accommodation and prove to you we old white men are not the sexists you think we are. Except it’s the old axiom, give them an inch and they’ll take it a mile. It never ends. Is there any doubt that another demand to change some other lyrics in the national anthem is just around the corner? The insistence to remake and recast society in their neutered vision of the world is a never ending project because it stems from an ideology based on pathological bullying and impulses to control and change others. It has less to do with rectifying injustices of the past than imposing their will on anyone they can.
So what’s to say they’ll be happy to stop at Chyyyaniwynklc? There are other provinces that need renaming;
Newfoundland – who “found” this land? Evil white Vikings? Good grief. This province needs renaming right away. Besides I never understood if it’s NEW-found-land, or new-FOUND-land, and look at the other benefit; we’d be getting rid of that horrible pejorative calling someone a “newfie”.
Nova Scotia – New Scotland? How dare you. That name speaks of conquest. And we all know Scots are obnoxious cheap skates.
New Brunswick – named for the Elector of Hannover? Where the hell is Old Brunswick? I don’t understand this name at all. It wasn’t “new” either to the peoples already living there.
Prince Edward Island – named after a British prince. Did he even ever visit this place?
Alberta – named for the Duchess of Argyll, fourth daughter of Queen Victoria. If “British” Columbia sounds colonialist then there is no question naming a patch of land after the 4th daughter definitely qualifies as colonialist arrogance.
Ontario – I think this is already a native name… but really maybe we could just rename it to “Toronto” since that seems to be the only place that matters in the province. Or the country for that matter.
But wait, what about cities? London? A city in England. Kitchener? An English field general. Windsor? The surname of the British royal family. Hamilton, Edmonton, Victoria, St. John, St. John’s… Vancouver?!? Named after the colonialist British Navy captain?
Let’s do it all. Let’s rename everything in this country to rid ourselves of reminders of our oppressive past. I propose the renaming of the biggest city on the west coast of Canada as Cthulhu, Chyyyaniwynklc.